every one is dying(still)

My great grandpa is dying. There, I said it.

I haven't actually told any of my friends yet. I'm having a hard time wraping my head around that fact.

It's there obviously. I know it's hapening. I know he's not doing well. I know he wont be around very long. But...I don't know...some how I don't think it's really hit me yet.

The thing is, I don't feel very sad about it. I mean I do, obviously! But I feel like I should be crying and writing about every thing he's ever said to me. But I'm not. I feel sad about it, but no sader than I felt(still feel) when I heard about Pudge dying.

Which makes me feel horable.

I want to be sad and with-drawn and be crying about it, but....He's old, he wasn't very healthy, people die. And I know my grandpa will miss him, and Betty and Aunt Barbra will too. But that just makes me feel sad for them, about how they loved great-grandpa and soon he'll be gone. And I loved him too, but...I just don't feel bad.

Am I a horable person?

Yes.

I didn't know him very well. I really only see him a few times a year.(birthdays, christmas, thanksgiving, that kind of thing) I know he played guitar when he was younger, I know he loves dogs, but doesn't have one, I know that he and his late wife met on a train(I think that's how they met, I'm not actually sure about that one). When I was a kid, every time I saw him he would tell me that I was shooting up like a weed, and he would always tell me about the first time he held me(when I was a baby) and how I screamed my head off.

But I'm not terrably sad that he'll be gone, I'm not happy about it! But I'm not drowning in tears either.

I hate this feeling.